The Oscars (2012)

Why I Liked... The Oscars 2012

(Host: Billy Crystal)

So 7 out of 12 isn’t that bad...

But you know what is? Whooaaaa my god, but Billy Crystal, you have gone way past your Best Before Date, and I would appreciate it if you could...just not.

Yeah, so that tanked. I don’t know about ratings and what not, but I should have known something would go wrong when some unnamed actress (I can’t remember who) praised Crystal right there on the red carpet, stating “he’s like, really funny, and like, really nice...” I’m paraphrasing like crazy, but that’s what she said (heh).

And that should have forewarned me for what was to come...

First off, Billy donned some good ol’ racist black face in his reprisal of his Saturday Night Live characterisation of Sammy Davis Jr. Not sure why, but there he was, sat next to Justin Bieber (ratings gag) and going on about going off to kill Hitler. Whilst in a Midnight in Paris setting. In the 20s. I don’t know what he was thinking, but there wasn’t a lot of it going on.

Then, his monologue just wasn’t something I enjoyed, to be honest. It was bland, and boring, and out of touch-much like the majority of the voters in the academy. Which sadly, leads me to...The Streep. Yes, that Streep, Meryl.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Meryl Streep-she never disappoints, always delivers, and is always memorable (insert something about her baby and dingos here). It’s just that for Best Actress? Really? For a film that never even got into the whys and hows and reasons behind Prime Minister Thatcher’s less popular moves (i.e. her entire reign), and just focussed on her womanly struggles and propping her up to be an icon in feminism? No. While she did an amazing job showing this woman dogged by her lower-class past, and having to elbow her way into the Boy’s Club, I just didn’t see a Best Actress gong in her future. And I know that just because the film isn’t as great as those in Best Feature, doesn’t mean it’s actors can’t be included, but Meryl’s Thatcher was just...so unfinished.

Anyway. She had a lovely little speech, but I didn’t pay too much attention to it, and got a little ill from the heaving standing ovation she received. Yes, she’s been nominated a billion times over and only won twice-now three times-but it really bugs me to the point of toying with the idea of abandoning the Academy when those deserving (who are actually nominated), don’t receive. And that was Viola Davis in this case.

On the other hand, great speeches were had by Christopher Plummer, Octavia Davis, and Jean Dujardin-all very eloquent, sweet, and endearing, respectively.

My new French Lovaah

 On the other other hand, this entire show was a complete mess. Cirque du Soleil performed something that...either didn’t translate well on tv, or was as boring as I thought it was. The In Memoriam was severely lacking and was the most basic Power Point presentation I’ve ever witnessed.

I’m pretty sure I actually zoned out during the broadcast, because I am sure that more happened than I can recall off the cuff.

Billy Crystal made me miss James Franco and Anne Hathaway. Or rather, just Anne Hathaway. At least she tried. As did the cast of Bridesmaids, who were a major highlight of the 3 hour show, and also Emma Stone, who with great bravado played the part of Enthusiastic Young Star to a ‘T’. Shouldn’t everyone there be like her?

Where is Keyboard Cat?

The gist of it is, is that yet another year gone, and yet another year I feel like I’ve been let down. The Post-Oscar Special by Jimmy Kimmel was far superior to what Crystal came up with.

(P.S. did no one else feel sick when Natalie Portman went on and on about each male nominee? It’s one thing to have this be a massive televised event where way too much money is going into dresses and celebrating people who are celebrated every day in the tabloids, but to have the presenter just gush over each nominee made me feel physically sick.)