Why I Liked... The Eagle (2011)

(Dir. Kevin MacDonald Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell)

Jamie Bell’s shoulders are to die for. Phew.

And that’s about it. I kinda hate that I’m reduced to objectifying actors whenever I can’t find something positive about a film.

I can’t even tell who this film was made for, really. Maybe it’s just that I’m a girl, and I’m just ‘not getting’ this whole Bromance-through-anything thing, but...I love Bromance! The Social Network, the Harry Potter series, the HBO series Band of Brothers...but this? Says me nothing. Maybe the whole Silent Brooding thing was more in vogue back in those days.

Ok, so I took Roman history back in year seven. Well, everyone at my school did, duh. But...it just kinda weirds me out to see Roman soldiers in a damp, broody environment. I mean, obviously the Romans camped out in Britain for a bit, but how many times do we get to see that? Not often. Maybe I’m just partial to Italy, I don’t know (actually, I do know, because Italy is awesome and I want to have its babies).

Not even an ounce of homo eroticism. Sadly.

So I didn’t really get it. I didn’t really like the setting. I didn’t even like the cinematography. Which is sad, because Anthony Dod Mantle tends to make my eyes happy.

All that said however, goddamn, those soldiers (the “goodies” and the “baddies” alike) were bad ass. And how refreshing was it to see hardly any CGI used for once? SO REFRESHING. Clearly, director MacDonald skipped Box Office school when Zack Snyder was teaching. Which is awesome! Because not all battle scenes suddenly go slow motion or randomly speed up in life. So this was technically a little old fashioned, but I’m looking forward to seeing this trend continuing in the cinema again. It’s nice.

Look, I’m sorry-suddenly this review got super short. But can you blame me, really? The whole film ended up feeling like a pilot episode to what could be a totally kick-ass television series about two buddies being awesome. Seriously, at the end of the film? They walked off into the sunset. Ok, not the sunset, but you get what I mean. Those final scenes made me think ‘oh, I wish there were a sequel’ because that was the only time when I felt it picking up the pace, and drawing me in for once.

Otherwise? Not a very memorable film.